I do believe in fairies!

O-HO! Look who's back? I'm updating this journal just to let you know I've half-moved to a new LJ called faedaydreamer in which I will be posting my miserably failed NaNoWriMo entry some time soon. To save myself from the tediousness of maintaining three different LJs at once (and to make room for my NaNo blog) I've deleted my other horribly named LiveJournal (marasu_hime). Hooray!

Expect me when you least expect me. What.

~B.

So I had the ULTIMATE privilege of sitting next to Ms Lacdao today. Oh dear me, I hope that doesn't make me sound too much like a fangirl. It was such an amazing English period. Not kidding. Just watching someone have their orals from the back (almost from the exact perspective of the teacher giving them) was sensational. After she left and everyone was congratulating each other, panicking, talking about what could happen to them, and such, I just blurted out: "OH MY GOD I WANT TO BE A TEACHER". I don't know if it's sadistic of me to be saying this, but I really, really want to teach just so that I can do that to students. Not necessarily "grilling" but more like teaching them to learn from their paper.

As of this afternoon, all my hatred (if any) towards research paper has left me. It's not just because of the incentive that I got—which is GLORIOUS, by the way—but more of how orals went in my class. Some people got grilled, some people seemed to have aced it, but nonetheless these people (hopefully) learned from this experience. And I know I did, too even if it wasn't me standing on the platform.

Soon (I don't want to say exactly when), it'll be me making my way up to the platform to be grilled like a barbecue to have my orals. I don't know how that will go. Maybe I'll end up resembling a well-done steak. Maybe I'll shed a tear or two (knock on wood, I sure hope not). Maybe I'll do okay. But I know one thing's for sure: regardless of the outcome of my orals, I am going to learn from my mistakes, my short-comings, and my (hopeful) success.

OH AND CAN I JUST SHARE. During the prayer before class, I volunteered to pray instead of the original prayer leader for today. Erica (charmedothfan) gave me her 'Prayer Before Examinations' which we both altered so it became 'Prayer Before Orals'. It is a prayer to St. Joseph of Cupertino who, when given an examination (from God? IDK), was only asked the questions he knew. So yeah, after I prayed to said saint...

Me: St. Joseph of Cupertino...
IV-3: PRAY FOR US
*ends prayer*
Ms Lacdao: Why didn't you just pray to St. Jude?
Me: Whoops.
Ms Lacdao: He's the patron of lost causes.
IV-3: O_____O
Me: *facepalm*

- lol hello dead LJ -

Numbered below are the different phases I usually go through when it comes to being committed to something.

1. Reluctance. Should I join or should I not join? Should I take on this challenge or chill? Should I trust this person or maintain this shallow relationship?
2. Excitement. I'm so pumped up for this contest/challenge! I'm so happy I'm hanging out with ~person~.
3. Passion. I LOVE WHAT I'M DOING SO SO SOOO MUCH. I LOVE MY NEW ~BFF~ SO MUUUCH.
4. Workaholic. Write, write, write. Draw, draw, draw. Etc, etc, etc.
5. Stress. LET ME DIEEEEEE. I CAN'T EVEN-- There is no time for anything but this challenge/contest. ~Friend's~ problem's suddenly became my problems too wtf.
6. Frustration / falling short. I hate what I'm doing...NO progress. GAH I hate ~person~ so much. Why must ~person~ be so ~flawed~.
7. "Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements?" I can't do this any more. But I can. But no, I can't. If I give up then ~bleh~ but if I continue, then ~blargh~.
8. Epiphany moment. Then either 9. or 10. happens
9. Follow through. I AIN'T GIVIN' UP YO. ~back to workaholic~ I feel so guilty for being so mean to ~person~ and I hope I can fix this.
10. Scrap it. Screw this, I don't need this stress. I don't need all these stupid emotions.
11. [No] regrets. That all depends on my giving up or not.

1. Compile all your notes at LEAST two days before your exam.

- everything in moderation. I know I said it's good to eat, and relax, and sleep but don't let that eat up the time allotted for you to study. Nobody likes gaining exam-week-weight, or the lethargic feeling we get from oversleeping.

- don't cram. Good lord, please don't. NOT A GOOD IDEA. More stress, more workload, less time, less rest. And you forget a whole lot more on the day itself.

- test the ink in your pens.

- keep calm. DON'T PANIC. Chill. When the test comes, don't freak out or you might not be able to perform as well as you could if you acted on the contrary.

Good luck with your studying! :)

~ M.

Oh PISTA, how I shan't miss thee
Thou art gone, and I am filled with glee
For 'twas a week and more that not many enjoyed
Filled with experiences of things created and destroyed

Many a young lass was lost and tired
From a towering mountain of work they acquired
Of to our committees on Thursday did we run
Not knowing how tomorrow's work would be so fun

The MPH so grand and so wide
Housed a number of students inside
Decorate the Multi-Purpose Hall did we so nicely
No longer did it matter how we were spent and weary

On my right knee is a bruise, so black and so blue
A souvenir from a tumble in the corridor of Year Two
Nonetheless, it shall be something I treasure
For with it loverly memories of PISTA I remember

"It's embarrassing."

Surely, hiya is more than just embarrassment to a Filipino. It's a trait we have acquired from our ancestors--I don't know where it originally came from, but this is who we are. Even beyond a trait, this is a way of life. It's a concept engraved into our minds and hearts. To learn how to repay the favor, to understand where the boundaries are, and to know when and when not to insist further. Yet, as time progresses, we tend to stray away from the good side of this value. Sometimes, it comes down to the point wherein we look down on ourselves and are, in turn, looked down upon by others.

Yes, humility is a good value to uphold. In fact, it's something rarely seen in other countries. However, too much can be detrimental not only to ourselves, but others around us. After so many instances of having to appear modest, and having to deny being all that, we end up believing in ourselves. We end up shrinking into inferiority.

Filipinos, where is our pride? Where is our sense of superiority? Why do we turn our backs on credit and being seen as someone accomplished? Why do we hide behind insecurities, lies, and other people? Seize the opportunity to be recognized. Quit being overtly modest. If you are honorably mentioned, complimented, or affirmed for what you are or what you have done, thank whomever said so. Why deny it, if it's true? That's fishing for more affirmation--insisting that you're not who they say you are, so that others may compliment you more.

So, maybe next time when someone says something great about you, or does something free of charge for you, be a little more sure of yourself. "Huwag na, nakakahiya!" ("Never mind, it's embarassing") could change to "You didn't have to do this, but thank you so much. It means a lot to me." It's all a matter of choice, people. :)

End.
( Why I wrote this, you may ask? )

Before I begin, I would like to apologize for not having a decent Royai icon up there-- or any at all. It would just aggravate me more. Also, I have not LJ Cut this entry. I think it deserves to take up my journal page's space.

ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY CHARACTERS IS NOT ENOUGH FOR WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.

Many things ended for me this week. Take Tuesday, June 8th, 2010 for example: that was when my long-term summer shopping spree stopped. My money has run out. I have to save up again. Wednesday, June 9th: the end of my summer hangouts with friends. I have to wait until school starts again. Not to mention Glee. I'll be needing another TV series to watch now. Thursday, the 10th: summer officially ended for me. Dad took me school supply shopping (he paid, it doesn't count) signaling the familiar Fist of School Fury to punch me in the face. And, finally, today (Friday), the one manga which I religiously read (FMA, no questions) has finished. Ironically, its ending falls on the same day as Royai day.

And so I rushed to OneManga (MANGAFOX TOOK IT OUT THE BASTARDS), and FMA chapter 108 was the first link I saw. Who would not click it, right? I read, and read, teared up, read, then broke down some 32 pages into it. Real tears. I guess I was feeling a little nostalgic. I mean it's been, what, nine years? WOW. NINE YEARS. FMA came out when I was 7. I got hooked at 12. Stopped a bit, then resumed at 14. So maybe I'm not as big a supporter of the series as others, but I've grown to love it as the list of chapters grew longer, and the number of OVA's and episodes larger.

Now that the manga's over--and the anime shall follow shortly--what am I to do? There will be schoolwork involved--tons of it, I wager--but there will always be something missing. Something I look forward to at the end of my week Fridays, 8:00-9:00PM will be gone. On the bright side, I've an hour to add to my homework time, but that kinda sucks at the same time. I'm not saying life is nothing without it--just that it's hard to let go of something that's been here too long.

Something I might forget: Happy Royai Day, fangirls! One thing that ticked me off was how this pairing appeared in chapter 108. They were together in the panels. Riza talks about Roy. Roy talks about Riza. Wait, the latter's wrong. And NO EPILOGUE. So, yeah, maybe they'll always be a ship tease. Perhaps, that's what's beautiful about this pairing--and the reason why it's so popular. It's not that one of them is hopelessly in love and chasing after the other. That's the shipper's job. We're in love with the idea of them being together. Maybe we can't see it. Maybe they already are. We just. can't. get. enough.

Here's to Royai: the ONE TRUE PAIRING of all time. And to Fullmetal Alchemist, for hosting such a wonderful couple, and above all, being an amazing--GENIUS, REALLY--manga series. Both would be nothing without Hiromu Arakawa, as well. Her story was mooving. (POW!)

(insert lengthy moment of reflective silence here)